I Read Something That Transformed my Thinking

 I Read Something That Transformed my Thinking

Chew on It, and Spit out the bones

When I consume content, I realize that information meets me where I am. I used to get frustrated when something did not completely align with my thinking. Now, I realize that it is about taking what resonates and leaving the rest. Dave’s article does an excellent job of asking readers to define if providing grace is helpful. 

It Starts With Grace By Dr. Dave Schmittou is a well-written blog post. Dave always has a way of “poking the bear” and bringing up topics that require people to have an opinion on a topic.  It Starts With Grace did not make me upset or call up a strong disagreement. Instead, it had me reaching out to my sister, a school social worker, and examining my perspective on a topic that I had not truly thought about. Dave’s post had me asking deep questions and gave me an opportunity to piece together my philosophy so that I can be more accountable to students, parents, administration, and most importantly myself. 

Dave’s article talks about how Grace is as detrimental to the learning process as judgment. His solution is to focus on empathy. 

“You see, when we provide grace, we are also giving ourselves a free pass from learning the whole story. When we offer grace, we don’t have to dig deep and learn what is really happening. A relationship is not required for grace, nor is it required when we judge. Growth comes from empathy. Empathy means we seek to understand. Empathy means we put ourselves into the shoes of the other person. Empathy requires us to explore our intent, to examine our purpose, and forces us to focus more on growth than compliance.”

Define “Grace”

After I read his entire post, the first thought I had was that we might have different perspectives on the word grace. The article reminded me of “Cheap Grace”, or the idea that no matter what the slate is always clear, and if there is a hardship educators may choose to move on requiring little. I do not think this is the case among all teachers. Most times information is gathered, a listening ear is offered and then “grace” ends up being a logical way of sorting through what makes the most sense for the student. It has never been a pass to just “do nothing and learn nothing about a person or the situation”. My perspective on grace in the classroom is that it is not overused. I see it as being human. Grace is made up of asking questions, listening and practicing empathy, validating, and making a plan to move forward.  I do agree that the term Grace has become overused and depending on how it is applied, it is not always doing a service to our students. 

Validation Matters

Empathy is critical but is not Where we Should Remain. My sister Jackie, who is an unbelievable school social worker, read Dave’s article and said there was a lot of good in it. She also agreed with me about defining grace and that she too believes it is not necessarily a free pass to do nothing. We agreed that it is tough to always stay in empathy because there may be a limit to what you can connect with. She said that it is truly about the connection. Without it, it is easy to provide cheap grace or be judgemental. Empathy is where you are providing support, and listening actively to validate what a person is going through. It is truly not possible or accurate for me to understand what it is like for a student who has an incredibly challenging home life to suggest that I understand what he or she is experiencing. I am connecting through my experiences and using my background to make judgments about what I am hearing. Instead of focusing on simply being empathetic, it seems more valuable to listen for understanding and then validate the truth of another person. Grace ultimately feels like the final action after listening. 

Overall This Article Got Me Thinking and Transformed My Perspective

I realize that I like the way I approach students, and issues and do make judgment calls in the best interest of learning and the students. 

Dave’s article reminded me that I need to make sure that I validate what another person is experiencing before thinking forward. It is never about cheap grace, but about a continued connection that will help the student re-engage with the class or material.